CANARY REPORT: SCI MYSTERY

[rageprufrock]

Canary Report: SCI Mystery

Canary Reports are a public service to help protect everyone who makes better choices than the Disgrace to Scholars Collective. We watch these and report back in so you don’t have to. Have a drama you want us to try out? Leave a comment below and let us know!

Where to Watch It: For in-progress English subs, a wild hodgepodge of YouTube, Daily Motion and some Japanese website -- all uploaded by the same subbing team. A real pain. Or, if you can understand or want to try tackling the Chinese, you can watch it here on Youku. Not that it matters because if you heed the below you will spare yourself the indignity of watching this.

Summary: Childhood friends and professional enemies Bai Yutong and Zhan Yao are flung back into one another’s orbits when a series of murders rocks Hong Kong. It’s up to the newly formed specialty task force, SCI Mystery, to try and catch the murderer -- that’s if flashy detective Bai Yutong and cold psychologist Zhan Yao don’t kill each other first.

Review/Comments:

I HATE THIS SHOW SO MUCH.

There are many, many reasons that I HATE THIS SHOW SO MUCH, but chief among the reasons I HATE THIS SHOW SO MUCH is that I had a friend in town around the time I was trying to watch this and I had to try and explain this show to her, and during the explanation, I used the words “rat slanket” no fewer than 14 times. Do you know the kind of looks a person gives you when you use the words “rat slanket” to them? I HATE THIS SHOW SO MUCH.

Reflexive primitive rage aside, SCI Mystery falls into a category of trendy idol (ish) drama that I find particularly obnoxious: nobody knows how to act, the show is built on a termite-infested foundation of style over any other possible influence, and the only thing carrying the entire production is how physically attractive the leads are.

On that point, at least, the show did its work.

The one in all white is Bai Yutong. He’s a rough and tumble too cool for school Hong Kong fancy cop who drives a sports car and has his hands jammed into his pockets 103% of the time.

(By the way, there’s a 90% correlation between bad Asian actors and keeping their hands in their pockets. Don’t believe me? Watch any shitty idol drama with a cast of barely legal twinks attempting to act while nearly fainting from hunger and repressing their homosexuality and they will all have their fucking hands jammed into their pockets because they can’t act and they don’t know what to do with their stupid dumb hands during a scene. And then go watch Zhu Yilong or Hu Ge in a drama and notice how this is not a factor at all. Because they can act their way out of a paper bag. Unlike everyone on this fuckshow of a drama.)

The one in all black is Zhan Yao. The one in all black is nicknamed by the one in all white “Cat.” For reasons unknowable, we learn in episode two that he owns a rat fur style slanket and some kind of rat animal hood that he keeps in his home and that Bai Yutong co-opts when he just decides to -- sleep there? Shower there? I swear to God I watched two fucking episodes of this show un-altered and under no chemical influences my only true takeaway was RAT SLANKET.



The general premise of the series boils down to Bai Yutong and Zhan Yao, ex-friends, are thrown together to solve a crime because there are a series of horrifying murders being undertaken throughout the city. The murderer(s) aren’t the masterminds, but rather puppets of a more evil power behind a literal desk. Will Bai Yutong and Zhan Yao -- abetted by their team of loveable randoms, about whom I absorbed literally nothing -- be able to save the day? Who fucking knows. Apparently Bai Yutong is a good cook and makes nice pasta. That’s something else I absorbed about this show. No more plot though. No siree.

But here’s the real reason people are probably talking about this show at all:

It is, on the surface level, similar to Guardian. A show about crime fighting (check), cute boys (check), and a quippy team (check check check). But for all that SCI Mystery has significantly better (if not more interesting) production quality, it’s utterly hollow at its core. I know it’s perhaps unfair of me to say so having only endured the experience of stuffing two trash episodes of this racoon fodder into my eyeballs, but honestly I couldn’t bear to go on and I was simultaneously using all my hate boner energy for Yan Xi Palace, another Masterwork of What Is Happening.

And oh yeah, about 3 minutes into the first episode, the boys jump off of a boat that explodes:

(Why?)

And Bai Yutong has to give Zhao Yao mouth to mouth on a rock and foam spune shoreline, shouting what a lazy cat he is, saying hadn’t they sworn they’d come back from this together.

(I hate this show.)

I don’t even care. Bai Yutong’s face looks like a Yaoi Hands Seme (the MOST NSFW) stepped off the pages of a bargain basement acid trip nightmare directly into my closed for business vagina. Fuck this show. Fuck rat slankets.

Canary Ratio: 0.1 (2/20 -- AND IT WAS TWO EPISODES TOO MANY)

Canary Flashpoint: I literally started fast forwarding about five minutes into episode one.

Comments

[naye]

"Rat slanket" I am CACKLING.

On that point, at least, the show did its work.

...it sure did. Almost well enough to tempt me to watch it. Definitely well enough to tempt me to watch it if I hadn't been warned about the lack of good acting which is the ONE THING that makes even trash garbage watchable.

Has anyone actually watched the whole thing? And liked it?

[rageprufrock]

I think a lot of people have actually finished the show and liked it! Like -- not in English-speaking fandom much, but there is more than one piece of fanfic? But dare I say there is probably a reason in the general sense that there wasn't much of a push for adoption in English speaking fandoms because there's a higher bar to entry, and without neighborhood crack dealers (like us) hanging out around your friendly local fandom playground, like nobody's getting that first hit free the rest are on you shakes, you know?

[gixininja]

I know at least three people in the English fandom who love it and are actively pushing it so I guess we all have different tastes?

[annebd.livejournal.com]

LOL. All of this is 100% true and yet I still watched all the way through episode 10 and only stopped because I couldn't find any more subbed eps.

If you've only watched the first couple eps, you missed the introduction to Bai Yutong's cousin, Bai Chi. Frankly, that's the world's loss, because I feel like you would have some hilariously terrible things to say about his character. You might even disike him more than Guo Changcheng. Because he's a doofus, but he's also apparently a genius. There's an amazing scene where Zhan Yao suggests, after approximately 30 seconds of conversation, that he has a 170+ IQ because of his ability to recognize a pattern of symbols that he wrote down from the Mensa test. That's... not how that works.

[rageprufrock]

Oh my fucking God. I just -- how could I possibly hate a character more than Moon Moon Wall? I feel stupider for having contemplated the possibility of it. I'm also so mad about everything in the second part of your comment re: Mensa testing and you know what? SO IS RODNEY MCKAY.

[tinny]

I am so very much laughing my ass off!

I know people who like this show, and I watched the first half of ep one on their recommendation (granted, it was not subtitled at the time).

I noped out of it faster than you could say... rat slanket, probably? Even though I definitely need more stuff to distract me from the pain that is Guardian, so I keep trying more shows and not finding much good.

(Maybe with the exception of Memory Lost, which is quite a good distraction, even though the low video quality is a waste of Bai Yu's beauty.)

[rageprufrock]

It's SO. FUCKING. BAD.

Also, I made it to about episode..4 of Memory Lost? I don't actually mind it -- it's kind of a thin but very attractive TV experience and I fully plan to go back to it at some point.

[tinny]

Also, I made it to about episode..4 of Memory Lost?

Yay! I love about it that the woman is actually strong - much stronger than in all other cdramas I've seen. It was unexpected, to be honest. My expectations have been lowered so far by all the other shows where the woman just lets herself be kissed against her will and always nods to whatever her love interest says... /o\ Blegh.

Bai Jinxi, otoh, doesn't take any shit from Han Chen, and the relationship actually gets going about in the middle of the show, not in the very last episode. It just feels natural somehow. Of course, she's still somewhat sexualized, but she handles it with humor. And then they have to deal with a ton of serial rapist cases, which is not everyone's thing, either. (But I found it was handled better than I'd feared.)

it's kind of a thin but very attractive TV experience

If you know of any other (non-wuxia) cdrama that has more substance, I'd love to hear it. So far, I've not found anything. It's all just soapy crap.

[rageprufrock]

Yes!! Three that I love and are modern!

1. Ode to Joy - It's the story of a group of female friends who become friendly because they all live on the same hall of a highrise apartment building in Shanghai, and their various life struggles and stories. This one is a really fantastic show if you love interesting diverse female characters, plus, the actress for Nihuang, Liu Tao, is the lead actress in this, and Prince Jing, Wang Kai, plays kind of a hilariously flirty podiatrist (not paired with Nihuang's character, but someone else). It's a lot of fun and great to watch.

2. Dr. Qin, Medical Examiner - It's pure fake forensic trash nonsense, but it's also charmingly OT3, surprisingly competent and compelling for being a fairly low budget web drama, and did so well that none of its three actors would return for the sequel because they'd all become too expensive and busy with other more prestigious projects. I liveblogged this as I watched it because it was so fun and I like making other people suffer with me. Highly recommend.

3. When a Snail Falls in Love - Another Wang Kai/Prince Jing drama! This one is fancy police shenanigans, and he basically plays Justice McPoliceface and is EXTREMELY HANDSOME. The main character is a psychological profiler who basically failed all her police academy physicals, and is on the homicide squad as an intern out of sufferance. Her commanding officer? Justice McPoliceface. This one has some pretty disturbing imagery for one of the murders, but is super slick, really entertaining, and has some really amazing female friendships portrayed.

[tinny]

omg thank you! <3<3<3

I will try to get my hands on these asap! I almost finished both Memory Lost and Love O2O so I have "free slots" again. ;)

Those all three sound great! Ah, and I see that the last one was written by the same author as Memory Lost (she wrote both novels, I mean). That is a good sign.

I found the first two easily with English subtitles and decent video quality. The "Snail" one has great video quality but I couldn't find one with English subtitles (automatically generated French wtf?). But I lately found out how to separately add subtitles, and they're on subscene, so all is well.

Thanks again for the recs!

[rageprufrock]

Snail is actually on Netflix if you have access to it!

[tinny]

I don't (not exactly, anyway), but i am okay with youtube with subs from subscene.

And I've been meaning to rave about it to you for days already. It is sooo good!

I am floored, I did not expect it to be nearly this good.

The cinematography is awesome, it is so atmospheric! I was skeptical at first, because the setup is eerily similar to Memory Lost - the coolest of the cool super cops and the psychologist he doesn't respect (but changes his mind by episode 4) - but the execution is so deliciously untropey. There is no overacting that I can see. He is allowed to smoke and play basketball when he's stressed instead of the usual binge drinking. She is respected by everyone, and even the comic relief female colleague is actually not that obnoxious. I love their chief, too. (the Hippo guy?) Just... it's all so much better than I've come to expect from cdrama. (And there is a whiteboard with Chinese characters! Being handwritten... <3 I am so easy when it comes to Chinese. :) )

I thank you for this rec from the bottom of my heart. This is actually a show that I can rec without any caveats! Well, I guess I'll wait until I've seen the ending. But that is not going to be long now, I'm already on ep 9 of 20. (It is sooo good.)

[scy]

After having fallen into this show, which is - *waves hands at all your commentary* so very much - and yet, has flashes of 'oh, this part could be neat if...wait...' I feel that I'd fic the hell out of dark!hypnotist character but basically nothing else because I kept shouting at the tv while watching it.

And, jumping off that point to actual cdramas that are GOOD - yes to all the ones you mention - I adore Dr. Qin - it's so...soothing? IDEK if that's the best term, but the main leads are so very OT3 and don't take each other's crap and allowed to have their own weirdness. GAH. Bummed that we didn't get another season with them - but yeah, they got higher paying gigs FAST after that.

I'd be curious about your liveblogging, because it must have been epic.

And, I think Love Me If You Dare is the other modern cdrama that falls into the same space as the ones you mention.

[kitsunec4]

A+ rage, RIP your blood pressure but that’s some hilarious rage.

But like, I would argue the leads aren’t even pretty enough to suffer through watching this show for. Not even one episode.

[rageprufrock]

I mean i agree. They're not MY type (not dirtbag enough), but I can objectively see how they would turn someone's crank, you know?

[gixininja]

Tbh though Bai Yutong actually does nothing for me on the attractiveness scale but I agree that it was the lack of acting and coherent storyline that had me all ???? because the first episode kind of sets them up as rivals/enemies but then suddenly they're all cozy together and domestic in the one ep?

Anyway, Bai Yutong's sister gets introduced later and she's one of those 'strong' girls who are actually privileged stalkers with no sense of personal boundaries and her 'romance' (stalking) of one of the secondary characters made me very much nope out.

[jukeboxhound]

That's what got me in the end, too. When Bai Yutong sat down with Gongsun in ep.9 and was like 'give jie a chance because tragic childhood backstory, despite all the times you've said 'no' and me using ableist language to admit that she has a thousand red flags for abuse,' I ragequit.

[rageprufrock]

I'm so so so glad I didn't get that far.

[jukeboxhound]

The above thread reminds me, I was wondering if anyone would mind shedding some light on the cultural context, if any, of a particular trope? Bai Yutong's older sister (...Qi Jiang, I think? I can't remember 2/3 of these characters) is outright stalking, harassing, and assaulting Gongsun, but no one seems to think it's particularly strange, not even Gongsun, who mostly just acts exasperated and cold over it. One of the show's themes is poor mental health (however incorrect or humanly impossible half its portrayals are), but Qi Jiang's behavior is never really lampshaded as unhealthy. She's also very attractive, intelligent, wealthy, and from a well-connected family.

So I was wondering, is this kind of plot the usual kind of "a 'no' just means 'try harder and be persistent'" that we also see in American media or are there some deeper nuances/contexts I'm missing?

(Srsly I wish I'd taken everyone's advice on this drama here.)

[rageprufrock]

I feel like this is something you see -- so so much in terms of Asian dramas, where behaviors that are absolutely toxic are supposed to be forgiven because a family member did it. I remember really vividly a kdrama where a man who's abuse and cheating drove his wife to commit suicide, and his controlling abuse of his daughter drove her to run away from home, and somehow at the end of it they just -- reconcile because she realizes he just loved her so much? Like what the FUCK. I think it's less the socioeconomic stuff than the family lack of boundaries, from my point of view, anyway!

Made an account just for this

[juurensha]

Thanks for the head's up on this show! Btw, is anyone potentially going to be watching and reviewing the drama Advance Bravely?

Re: Made an account just for this

[rageprufrock]

I just trolled a member of the collective into trying to do a Canary Report on it for you. <3

Re: Made an account just for this

[juurensha]

OMG, thank you so much! (I feel like I should warn that it's kind of a trash show, but it's pretty and the actors do have decent chemistry, even if Xia Yao is such a brat, but that's why we like him?)

[carabarks]

Is it bad that after reading this scathing review, I just want to watch it more? Just for the pure trashfire it is. If I can sit through Guardian's CGI for Priest's plot and Zhu Yilong, perhaps I can sit through SCI for the eye candy.

In other news, I hope you guys will do Untamed soon. I don't know if it's at Guardian's level of CGI, and I'm still on the fence about the idol acting, but Xiao Zhan is a treat for the eyes and I'm intrigued by the way the prod team's working with the source material. What's with Chinese wuxia and 13 years of absence, face changes before overcoming political turmoil in order to clear someone's name? The protag here sent me on a tangent where Mei Changsu transmigrates post-Meiling II.